


Setsumei Nante Dekinai

by afteriwake



Category: Bleach
Genre: Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/M, Introspection, Major Character(s), Minor Canonical Character(s), One-Sided Attraction, Requited Love, Romance, Secret Relationship, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-05 00:04:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5353328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it comes to love, no one can explain it. It's many different things to many different people. It comes about in many different ways. It shows itself in many different forms. And it effects people in ways no one really expects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Setsumei Nante Dekinai

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from a saying I'd heard my friends who speak Japaneses say, _“Ai” wa tada tan ni “ai” de aru. Setsumei nante dekinai_ (written as 「愛」はただ単に「愛」である。説明なんてできない。). It means "Love is just love. It can never be explained," which I thought was a good explanation for how all over the place these drabbles are (since they were leftover ones that didn't really fit in other collections).

  
**Where He Stands Now**  
_Kuchiki Byakuya/Shihouin Yoruichi_   


When he accepts her, as she is now, with the quick temper he had in childhood buried beneath a cold demeanor, it is the first step in acknowledging something he has known for a long time. He has always respected her, in some form or fashion. Even when her abrupt departure cut him to the core, he still respected her in some way. He just buried it better.

Now, as an adult with a love lost in the past, he can acknowledge what she is to him: the one that got away, if getting away means leaving with absolutely no warning when you weren’t sure what you felt in the first place. He loved Hisana, would always love Hisana, but Yoruichi had fueled his passion. He had just never gotten to tell her, show her, except in quick bursts of temper where he would give chase. He should have realized he wanted to chase her in other ways, but he was young and naïve, and those thoughts and urges didn’t come to the surface until later, after she was gone.

So tonight he welcomes her into his home, secure in knowing what he wants. Whether she will give it or not is another question, one best put off until the end of the evening, but for now he has her company as an equal, and there will be no more pushing her away; instead he will embrace her, and all that she is, and open himself to her and whatever her response is. He will no longer shoot her down with contempt and ill thoughts. Instead, he will try his best to find a place in her world and be in it for the rest of his days.

  
**In The Rain**  
_Kurosaki Ichigo/Inoue Orihime_   


He's standing outside her window in the pouring rain. In this new apartment she's on the ground floor, which was always something that made his nightly entrances and exits easier. And she would always leave the drapes pulled open just in case he wanted to check on her, make sure she was safe. He always wanted to make sure she was safe.

She had accused him of smothering her, though. It had been years since Hueco Mundo, since she learned the skills to protect herself. By all rights, she didn't need him to stand such heavy guard. And she had never complained before tonight. But...he had an irrational need to make sure she was safe. He couldn't sleep without checking on her at least once during a patrol.

Tonight, though, the drapes were drawn shut, and he could see the light on. He could go up, knock on the window, apologize profusely...but he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. And it wasn't fair to apologize for something he wasn't going to stop doing. Maybe he could lessen it? Maybe. He could at least try. Perhaps a promise would suffice for an apology. He took two steps to the window and knocked. And waited. And waited. And waited. There was no reply.

He sighed, and turned to leave, only to see her standing there, umbrella over her head, looking at him. He would talk to her, tell her how he felt, about the need to make sure he was protecting her. And then maybe they could get back to how they had been. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head, instead stepping up to him and pulling the umbrella over his head and kissing him softly. Everything was going to be okay, he thought as he kissed her back. They could make it work.

  
**Days Gone By**  
_Kurotsuchi Mayuri/Retsu Unohana_   


She had often wondered what type of childhood would produce a man like Mayuri. She assumed it was not a typical childhood. She often thought he had been left to his own devices, or else had disturbed people so much even back then that they gave him wide berth. Perhaps he had been picked on, teased. Perhaps humiliated? That was a possibility.

Whatever his background was, she knew that it had not been like her own. Oh, she had not had the glorious happy childhood most people pictured, far from it. She had parents that she needed to support because they had been older when they had her. There had been scavenging for the food she needed that her parents had not and simply couldn't afford. There were times she had been cold and hungry and curled up in the tightest ball she could form, as if this would protect her, keep her warm and sated.

But there had been love, there had always been love. And perhaps that was the key difference between her and the man she had great if slightly disturbing (but only by others esteem, never by hers) attraction to. And while it might be too late to make those fundamental changes in him, she would at the very least try and inflict some positive changes in him by showing that she loved him despite everything, or perhaps because of everything, and no matter what he did, said or thought she was not going to give up on him...whether he liked it or not.

  
**Seven In The Morning**  
_Kuchiki Byakuya/Kotetsu Isane_   


He required her to be at the Kuchiki manor at seven in the morning, every morning that someone was ill. The previous Lieutenant had done so when his wife was sick, and Isane Kotetsu, as the trusted Lieutenant of the Fourth Division, would continue to be the on call medic for the Kuchiki clan if one was needed. It was a great honor, and she regarded it as such.

Rukia did not get sick very often, and when she did she was too lethargic to talk to her, because she had run herself ragged in an effort not to get her beloved nii-sama worried. But in the end she would push herself too hard and be completely out of things for a day or two. And when Isane was done checking in on her, she would report to the head of the noble clan.

So when he became very ill, it surprised everyone. Some had muttered that it was the same illness that had caused his wife to die, but Isane knew better. Hisana Kuchiki had died of a guilt-ridden heart, or at least that was what her Captain had informed her one day when she had asked about the family. He was fatigued and overstressed, and it was complicated by a horrendous bout of pneumonia, and he needed rest. So every morning at seven she was there.

She wondered when she had started to look forward to being at the Kuchiki manor at seven, and knew that it was when he had addressed her by her given name in his sleep. To see this brief glimpse of Byakuya Kuchiki with all his shrouds of formality pulled down to the ground had caused her to look at him in a new way. And as she saw he was getting better, she dreaded the day he would be well enough to not need her attentions anymore.

  
**Self Appointed Protector**  
_Uryuu Ishida/Inoue Orihime_   


He knows she's got her eyes set on Ichigo. He's known this for so long, but now it doesn't matter anymore. Ichigo ignores her, for whatever personal reasons he has. But while she's been pining and Ichigo's been ignoring, there's been training on his part. He's strong now. He won't get blindsided again.

So every day, he asks to walk her home. She says no, that's okay, thank you, always with a smile on her face and a friendly wave as she walks away with Tatsuki or Chizuru or the other girls. Some days she walks off alone, and he follows at a discreet distance to make sure she gets wherever it is she's going safe and sound. If Ichigo won't protect her then it's up to him.

The day she gets attacked he'd followed her, a little less than a block away. It wasn't Hollows; instead, it was two university aged men who wanted to drag her into an alley. She hadn't had time to use her shields when one of them punched her in the face as she fought back. He saw red, and was on them quickly, giving them a beating that would have made Ichigo flinch.

She watched, eyes wide and hands over her mouth, and when she was done she looked at him and tried to speak. But he looked her over, gingerly touched the fat lip she was developing, the bruised cheek, and she began to cry. He pulled her close and walked with her all the way home, stayed with her until she was okay. She thanked him, even gave him a hug, and said she would be fine. He believed her, and told her that he would never let anything like that happen to her again.

The next day she asked him to walk home with her. He said yes. And so they left school, shoulders touching, her talking and him listening, and he knew that was the way it should have always been.

  
**Vanity Takes A Backseat To A Crush**  
_Kurosaki Ichigo/Dokugamine Riruka_   


She could get around a bit without her glasses in the darkened room, but she inevitably ended up bumping into something. The others didn't laugh (too much), mostly because they were afraid of her wrath. She could be more than just a bitch; she'd been known to be downright sadistic on one or two occasions. The thing with the Yakuza was tame in comparison. But she would _not_ wear glasses and she would _not_ wear contacts.

Except today. She did it today because she knew she was going to have to read very tiny text. It was impossible to do that without them. But it was important. It was going to help Ichigo, and in turn that would help her get rid of her stupid powers. So she squared her shoulders and pushed open the doors. Walking in confidently, she made it halfway across the room before she heard the snicker. She kept going, went right up to Ichigo. “I have the book.”

“Thanks,” he said. Then he narrowed is eyes at her. “You look good with glasses. Bet you can see better, huh?” She blinked, and then turned a pale shade of pink as she nodded slowly. “You might want some that are a little more oval shaped, though.”

She shrugged slightly, acting as though the statement didn't bother her at all, while inwardly she was already coming up with what she wanted her new pair of glasses to look like. If Ichigo thought she looked good in them...well, then maybe it was worth wearing them more often.

  
**Perceptions**  
_Kuchiki Byakuya/Shihouin Yoruichi_   


“You used to shout the most vile things at me, Byakuya,” she says, in a voice of contentment. She does not stay long after the act, but for a little while it is almost as if their guards are down, and he is who he truly is and she is who she truly is and there is honesty between them, unbarricaded by formality and stature. “I was surprised that you knew such gutter language.”

“You used to irritate me,” he says, idly bringing a finger along her bare skin, trailing from her hips to her spine and then straight up. “Sometimes you still do.”

“But that is what I do best,” she says with a slight chuckle. “Reminding you that you are human is a goal in life. A never-ending goal.”

“Stay tonight,” he asks, the same question he asks every time. He braces himself for the inevitable response. He has asked many times over the last few months, and each time she says she cannot stay, it is not right, Rukia is down the hall…some variation on the excuse. Tonight, though, he gets silence. “Yoruichi?”

“Do you ever wonder if I am cruel?” she asks, turning to look at him, sheet slipping down and exposing her chest. “That I use you for intimacy and then run away? Do I hurt you when I leave, Byakuya?”

“Yes,” he says, taking his finger and running it along her cheek. “To all three questions.”

“Then why do you let me back in, night after night?” she asks, her eyes wide and wondering.

“Because I spent a hundred years without you, and I will take you however I can get you no matter how much it hurts,” he says quietly, admitting the truth, drawing it from deep down inside him.

She is quiet, and then takes hold of his hand and kisses his palm. “I will try not to be cruel anymore, Byakuya,” she says. “I will stay tonight, and any night you ask. I only ask for your love.”

“You already have it,” he says softly, and when she leans in and kisses him, smile on her lips, he knows he has hers in return, and it fills him with a contentment he’s never had before.

  
**Watching The Experiment Unfold (Whether He Likes It Or Not)**  
_Kurotsuchi Mayuri; Uryuu Ishida/Kurotsuchi Nemu_   


Many things irritated him, some rational, some not. He didn’t bother hiding it, because what was the point? Hiding feelings never accomplished anything, and if it made people not want to be in his presence, well, good riddance to them. But that Quincy brat…he just couldn’t stay away. Oh, how he itched to strap him down to a table and paw around through his insides. He wanted to commit many experiments on him, over and over, as he begged for mercy, just like the man he found out was his grandfather had.

But keeping him alive had given him a grand view into a social experiment: just what would happen if an ideal woman fell into the hands of a bumbling adolescent? After all, his Nemu was a near perfect creation; he had ensured so himself, after much testing and trials. So if it meant dealing with the Quincy being courteous and nauseating, which, for the moment gave him the opportunity to watch a Quincy’s mating habits in person, he would let it slide.

But deep down, it bothered him. Not his reaction to her; after all, who can expect any less from the human ideal? No, it was _her_ reaction to _him_ that worried him. Could she actually be reciprocating? Could she have developed feelings? As much as the idea of his creation evolving in a way unplanned by him bothered him, the unique scientific study it opened up for him alleviated those feelings somewhat.

Not very much, though.


End file.
